After recently reading 'The Fault in our stars' by John Green, this was one of my favorite quotes from the book.
And tonight this is somewhat exactly how I feel.
I really do not know what to write about or rather that I cannot gather the broad spectrum of my thoughts into one solid block for tonight's post.
Which for me is some what of a depressing thought. Well maybe not so much depressing, more deflating.
And this is why this extract from, the fault in our stars, is somewhat amazing.
As my thoughts are stars, all big and meaningful, well at least I think they are. And yet somehow I cannot seem to place them together into something, less jumbled, less confusing. And so they remain stars in the night sky.
And hopefully I will be able to fathom them into beautiful constellations all in due course.
And so for once I find my self able to relate to the lyrical creations of Taylor Swift.
Let me explain, these lyrics explained exactly my day. Which in a way is quite a scarily freaky thought. Well not that scarily freaky. But I'm sure you get my point
Because today was indeed a Fairy Tale. Though my prince charming did not cease to romantically appear, which was a shame , I did get to share this magical day with my own fairy god mother. Who goes by the name of my, beautiful Nana. Also accompanying me in today's magical story, my sisters Anja and Esther, who are frankly the complete and utter opposite of the 'ugly step sisters' that one would discover in the story, Cinderella.
Today we found our selves in Diamond Harbor. One would find that the beauty there would live up to it's name, as when looking down onto the sea, a million, zillion :P diamonds gleam back.
Today felt like Fairy Tale.
We sat and ate our lunch, it diminishing by the minute due to the flock of hungry sparrows surrounding us. It felt almost like something I would've read from my own Fairy Tale books when I was younger. From Snow White, to Sleeping Beauty, to Repunzel, my day had it all. I was living in my own fairy tale.
But if I had to pick one Fairy Tale that would replicate how i felt eating my lunch in Diamond Harbor. It would be the film- Enchanted.
If one has not seen this film, then I advise you type into YouTube- 'Enchanted Animal Song' or something along the lines and you will discover, or begin to understand the nonsense I am blabbering on about today.
But with all Fairy Tales, there has to be a happy ending. Some may ask? But haven't you already described your happy ending Beth?
Ahhhh... well listen on my friend. Because if you are accustomed to the ways of a fairy tale, you will realize that we have not had our sudden, evil plan or our Cinderella lose's her glass slipper or our Snow White eats the poisoned apple moment. Have we? No my fellow readers, this is just the beginning.
And so we ventured home, sat not on our fellow steed, but instead a fellow boat. Which took us over the waves, honestly it was oh so bumpy today they could almost have been mountains.
We found our feet on solid ground again and began to make the short walk to our car. Or should I say carriage. And who should we find waiting inside our car? Yes the spoiler of a day.
As it had turned out we had left our head lights on after emerging from the tunnel through to Lyttleton. Resulting in a dead battery, further more resulting in us stuck in Lyttleton. Suddenly all the joy seemed to drain away, out of the car and down the storm water pipe.
All would have been well, if I had bought my phone or I knew mum's phone number. But neither was on my agenda for the day. So we were with stuck a dilemma. What do we do?
And so for me thee only answer was. Pray. And pray I did.
In the end we managed to talk to a very kind construction worker, who lent us his phone and helped us discover mum's phone number. Also a service garage appeared out of no where, and in there we discovered some jump leads. This kind man, helped us to restart the battery. And away we went.
You see and this got me thinking. This man did not have to stop and help us, as he was working. But he chose to stop and help, us, the Damsels in distress. He went beyond and above his call of duty.
Nana offered him some money for his time, and in reply he said;
" No, I cannot take this. Hopefully someone will stop and help me next time I am in need."
So next time you see someone who is in need. No matter how big or small the deed. Please stop, as this may be the guy who so kindly helped us today. Or it may be someone who has kindly done a deed for someone else and is in dire need for repayment for their deed. And I am not talking repayment in money terms. For you may be able to bless, like we where blessed today. You may be able to give someone their 'Fairy Tale- Happy Ending.'
As I know, as all Fairy Tales End, mine followed the criteria today. Thanks to an awesome God and a man who was willing to help some Damsels in distress.
- "Today was a Fairy Tale, I wore a dress, I am no longer a Damsel in Distress"
Today I discovered a relic, whilst trying to find some screws in the garage.
Well, I call it a relic because compared to the technology we have present today,for our generation, this would be looked upon as something of some what age.
What? You may ask did I find?
Well I, actually we. Dad and I, discovered a Nintendo gameboy. After an exciting proclaim from Dad,
- ' that's where it went to' and further discussion, I discovered this was the first Nintendo Gameboy.
And this got me thinking.
Look how far technology has come!
I discovered Dad used to play this Nintendo when he was 12.
So I decided to place this somewhat new, exciting discovery by Dad's up to date phone. The same as my phone.
The contrast was mind blowing. After having a go on this 'relic' I discovered that compared to his new item of technology this was definitly 'dated.' The screen is tiny, probably only a little bit bigger than a cheap phone you can pick up from the warehouse. The picture, quite pixilated and the sound terrifyingly annoying. Compared to the now a days, large screened, multiple use pieces of technology... This was somewhat a blast from the past.
But despite this fact, there was a feeling that was present. That no iPhone, Samsung or other high tech piece could provide. It was the feeling of a story, history and life. It felt like the whole world wasn't at your finger tips, it had one purpose and one purpose alone; to provide you with a game. And this thought pleased me as I felt I was for once in control,unlike today's culture where the whole world is at your finger tips.
Some may say technology has advanced for positive reasons. Today I beg to differ.
Today I realized that it is so easy to let technology control us, whilst we should be the controllers.
The Nintendo Gameboy allowed us to control what we played and how we played it, but now our phones,computers beg for attention. Maybe we should stop and consider how we our letting modern day technology rule our lives. Shall we start becoming the controllers?
And go back to the future!
So I have not posted in a while. I somewhat feel like I have suddenly failed my blog name, or not done it any justice.
-1 year,,,, 365 thoughts
But other things have been happening, fear not!
I have been finding myself getting lost in the melodies of Bethel, Hillsong and various other Christian artist. And these listenings have been many thoughts in themselfves. As they sing truth's, hopes and wisdom at me, I find myself refreshed and revitalized for a epic year ahead.
I used to always like Christian music, but I never had that desire, longing, craving for it that other alternative stuff would provide. But having come back from new day I have this longing, craving, thirst, hunger to be listening to these intricate, food for the soul.
And this my friends is a wonderful thought that pleases me.
And in doing so, I feel an ultimate peace and I feel like everything that happened at new day is gonna keep growing and growing.
The second thing that has kept me company is spending time with my lovely Nana! There is something I love about doing this as well. As I come away feeling light and joyful. I get such a happiness from spending time with her as I know that she won't be here for long. For I know Saturday will come and soon we'll be saying our goodbyes. This thought honestly tears my heart.
So as I leave, depart, to rest. I apologize for my lack of blogness recently, my heart, my mind and my physical self have been caught up elsewhere. Oh the life of a 15 year old :p I am joking. I love being 15! (:
But fear not, I am alive! Watch this space for more.
Today came an end to an amazing, wait, incredible 5 days. Yet even though it was an end of a period of time I know that the encounters and happenings of this camp will not.
And as I sat on the bumpy plane flying home yes I was sad, as I'd made some amazing friends but I was also excited, pumped and prepared for the year ahead! I know deep down that this wasn't just gonna be something that happened at camp hit it would be something that would continue to grow within me.
And as I sat on the plane I looked out of the window, music pumping in my head I look out at the sea below me. Beneath me was something I'd never seen before. A line, on one side where rough, tormenting high waves and on the other it was dead calm no white heads of waves, nothing.o
And then i was hit by the truths that I know. That this is like Gods love for us. It is like our lives before we where saved all rough and jaggered, we where sinners. And then he sent his one and only son, his only, to die on a cross, to die a death that I had deserved. So I could be with my Dad, God for eternity?
This thought I had on the plane like many others over the weekend blew my mind!
And so as I keep my eyes on God, I'll keep my eyes open on creation. As I find when I do this I get struck with little creation parcels of God's love!
I've discovered recently that I haven't exactly been writing about my thoughts. So sorry about that.
But hefor those of you who don't know I am in Wellington on a youth camp. Despite Nickie's encouraging horsie noise alarm this morning I still could not fathom the effort that was needed to get out of bed.
After some time I felt that effort come and I raised up from my mattress, which for a camp mattress it is awfully comfy!
I flopped out if bed and signed up for treasure hunting. Booyah was so pumped and it was worth the effort of getting out of bed!
So let's skip time until treasure hunting!
I was with I must say an awesome group! Tim, Isaac and Abby. We got our clues and shared them then headed off to the town center.
As soon as we walked into the car park we saw a Guy with a Metallica t-shirt and head phones on which was one of Isaac's clues from God that he had. He literally leaped out of the car, man that boy has no fear! Which is something I look up to him for!
We carried on into the mall, just praying to God listening, stepping out in courage and letting God do the rest.
It was coming to 4 O'clock - the time we had to be back at the camp and we met up with another group sharing stories and awesome works of God! And we saw a guy with a dustbin one of our clues, Jenny said that we should go up and just honor him for his job. So we waited until he'd finished talking at the information desk.
But I guess you could say that there was a reason y we had waited so long to talk to him. God wanted us in that spot. He had it exactly planned. Sure enough as a fellow Cantabrian I heard deep rumbling and said to my self that's weird... And then it hit the earthquake. Tim yelled under the door and we ran there and huddled.
Its funny how you think that you've put everything in a box and placed it to the side, but in that moment everything came flooding back memories of the Christchurch earthquakes and fear was definitely present. The earthquake went on for 40 seconds so its not surprising that in that period of time these thoughts came flooding back. But I was great full, and so very blessed to be with the people I was with this afternoon!
After a quick prayer sesh in the carpark I was filled with Gods peace and these two girls caught my attention that I had earlier on bought a bracelet off them cause I felt God say to.
Turns out God had everything planned during the earthquake these girls had been by themselves due to the bracelet selling and so they where pretty messed up like I'd been but cause of Gods amazing peace I no longer did so we hugged these girls. And talked with them sharing the peace.
I guess today I was just struck by the timing and perfection of God and his plans. And that out of bad good can come.
When returned to the camp I must admit I was still a little shaken up, running on adrenalin. But the difference from before 7 O'Clock and after tonight is a real testament to God's unending love for me.
I no longer feel fearful, not just about earthquakes but about moving to my new school this year. I know that with the lord, my father, my Dada their is no fear! And that thought blows my mind!!!
I was also struck by Gods humor tonight and had a good wee giggle in the spirit and a dance as honestly the love God has for me just blows my mind! And it still does!
I feel joyful and excited and overwhelmed, God is good! God is mighty, God is powerful, God is my strength, God is my shelter, God is my refuge, God is my hope, my light, my mighty wave of light! My deep pool of unending love and spirit, he is my future and I trust him. He is my father, my dad.
I am a insect, spider, creature no fearing person. So it wasn't a surprise today when Nicky my friend found a huge spider that I went a little squeamish.
Keeping my fear for creepy crawlies in mind, today as I was sitting a waiting what I was told to be an awesome quiz, something rudely, sharply and painfully bit... harshly the side of my face. I yelped in pain and I looked to the side of my face and saw a big, huge black thing in my hair. I pulled it out in disgust and in fear and threw it to the ground. Sharp pain escaped across my whole face!
This all happened in probably like three seconds.
I had no clue what this creature was, was it a wasp? Was it a bee? What was it?!
So I went to get some stuff for stings,
And in conclusion after completing the quiz with my awesome team! I think we came to the conclusion that it was a hornet.... Egh ):
So my thought for today is. Why did God create such vicious creatures! I'm sure there's a reason put there! Yes I may despise creepy crawlies but when you think about it they're quite intricate and creatively designed by God! That I feel honored to have been stung! I think
Tonight as I write this there is a tune playing through my mind. So I guess tonights not a thought.. More of a lyrical muddle of thoughts. The song that is replaying in my mind is...
- "Joyful joyful lord we adore thee..." The song is stuck, on replay going around and around.
Some may ask if it's because I've been listening to this song a lot recently? The answer is no. I can't even remember the last time I listened to this particular melody. Yet the question is why is it playing through my mind?
I guess because tonight I had an awesome encounter with God, I got filled with a lot of joy and he took away a lot of fear that I've had recently for the up coming year and I phrase that will stick with me forever is;
With God there is no fear! (And I know every time I feel fearful I'll repeat this to myself over and over)
So that explains the joyful part of the song and the other part...
-" Lord we adore thee"
Is catchy due to the fact that I adore the Lord! And tonight I was just in awe of him. I've felt the holy spirit plenty of times before in the past but tonight it was different. Tonight I really felt the joy, the love and I could feel God's face just shinning down on me. My daddy. I've never felt that before with God! Never felt his true delight in me like I encountered tonight. It was pretty phenomenal! And its amazing to think I have a father who cares so much about me, that he sent his one, his only, precious son to die on the cross so my sins, get that mine! Can be washed clean so I can live for eternity with God? I mean like if that alone doesn't make you go wow and make you stand in awe of God, with his mercy, grace, forgiveness and love. Then honestly I don't know what would.
You see these lyrics are kinda cool when you think about it.
- joyful joyful lord we adore thee!
Man lord you make me joyful! And I adore you so much! (: thanks God for loving me when really I don't deserve it! Thank you for giving me time and providing! Thank you for you everlasting love and unending GRace. Lord tonight I stood in awe of you as you showed to me you, as you revealed and as the holy spirit worked with in me. Lord your phenomenal, indescribable! And I will continue to stand in awe!
As a song goes...
"And I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the one who gave it all, I'll stand my soul Lord to you surrendered all I am is yours"
Today I was awake and alive at 7 0'clock ready and excited for an awesome weekend up in wellington. Excited as I was going to spend 5 days a bunch of awesome youth and God!
This morning I was very organized! Which was quite a surprise! I headed off to the airport. Baggage checked in and I waited for my flight. Minutes passed and the time I was meant to board passed by.
And I thought, really?! Can't I just go already?
But patience is a virtue so I hear. And honestly waiting twenty minutes was definitely worth it.
Because as I took off down the run way and entered into the sky, I looked out my window. And wow! What an awe amazing view I saw!
The Canterbury planes stretched out below me, so intricate and detailed. In the distance I could make out where my house is. It looked small compared to the rest of the world below me. A needle in the hay stack.
The sea was stretched out below me and twinkling like a million diamonds.
And then I thought my house looks so tiny, so small, compared to the rest of Canterbury.
And it reminded me of the times in my life when small problems have seemed so big! And if only I had looked out across the world like I did today and realized that's there's a bigger world than my small problems!
Sometimes I get so caught up on my inner life, when shouldn't I be looking on my outer life? Looking at the diamonds that are occurring or the opportunities I have. Counting my blessings, looking on the bright side and trying to see the bigger picture. The bigger plan, trying to see how Gods looking at the situation.
I guess you could call it looking from the sky.
So next time I'm caught up on the unknowns of my life, I'll think to the moment of today when I was in the sky! Seeing the bigger picture! (:
Let me explain a little more...
Accordingly an escape from reality. But for how long? How long can we keep buying into the media, trusting them as they manipulate.
Instead of doing something about this pain I see in the world I have let it itself become a weed, growing within me. I have left it every time to sit inside me. Yet I should be using it as fuel. Using it to burn a fire, a heart inside of me for God and using it to make a difference in what I want to see the world make a difference in. I always had a passion for the topic, so why don't I do something about it?
I saw some people walk past with some, I must say, delicious looking ice creams! And suddenly it dawned on me that I had no idea what ice cream cones where made of! For all I knew I could just be eating a slightly sugarfied piece of shaped cardboard!
Today was a beautiful day. The sun was shinning and a warm wind was tickling my arms. With this beauty in mind, I found some beautiful thoughts occur in my spacious head.
If one had asked me earlier , 'Why is your mind so spacious today?' I would have replied in a good old kiwi fashion, 'I dunno ae!' But I now know why.
As the day progressed I discovered that sometimes a spacious head is good as it invites even better thoughts in! And today a thought walked in that always seems to make me feel happy, light and alive!
Let me explain a little more. Today the family and I went to Orana Park which is a Zoo. As we found our selves wandering around the designated circuit I found my self stationed in front of one of my favorite animals!
For those of you who know me well, you will know I adore Zebra's! And so guess who's habitat I found my self stationed in front of for a while today? Yes that's right a Zebra!
As I sat, watched and listened to the volunteer talking about this fascinating animal. I was hit with a thought...
That thought being;
- 'Wow we have an awesome creator!'
And in that moment I was struck with the beauty and intricacies of the animals and frankly in awe of God, our Daddy's, handy work!
As I continued listening to the women, I was reminded that no zebra has the same formatting of stripes. In simpler form, for those of you who are a lil thick like me! They're all unique! No single zebra is the same. They are an individual, beautiful, detailed creation.
It reminded me of you and I. Did you know that no two people have the same finger print. We all are different. Yet a master piece in God's bigger plan!
Read Psalm 139:13-16 and you'll be reminded of how special and how well thought out you, me and every other Human being on the planet is.
'For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.'
And so I urge you to reread over those couple of verses and speak them to your self! Get inspired like I was today by a zebra! That I'm unique, fearfully and wonderfully made and that I am a magnificent piece of God's masterpiece!
I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes that I believe fits quite nicely,
Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
So this is my first post. If you are reading this then I wish you good luck! As I, Beth Walters have no prior background to blogging what so ever. So this is a first, which is pretty much the main reason that I have created this blog.
I was challenged recently by the book - 'Do Hard Things' by Alex and Brent Harris (if you have not read this book I advise you to do so) I was challenged in many ways for example; standing up to low expectations, that doing hard things now in our teenage years prepares us for our future but the reason that got me writing this blog was near the end of the book. It began talking about the first step to taking actions towards doing hard things. It suggested that I wrote down 5 bullet points that I could work through, some being practical and some a little more far fetch.
And you wouldn't have guess what was one of mine? Yes a blog! Correcto my friend!
You see for me this is a little step out of my comfort zone. But also a place where I am freely able to express my feelings and my thoughts. I guess here you'll find an insight into what goes on inside my head. And I must admit I don't really expect it to be anything too exciting but I'll try and I hope in a way that some days something will pop out at you, inspire you or make you think deeper. I guess that's why I'm doing this.
As I express my feelings, my thoughts. I pray that new ones will trigger in your mind.
And so as I post this first thought, my little idea will have life.